As for my health issues I wrote about in my last post, well there really isn’t much more to tell. I will keep you all informed of the situation once I get the rest of the tests done and get the results back.

Right now I am dealing with another issue that has caused a few mixed emotions. I guess right now I don’t know what the hell I am feeling. I will try to explain as best I can without taking the risk of sounding selfish.

For quite some time now my husband Terry has been trying to get out of a job he has worked at for over a year,. He doesn’t mind the work and he likes the guys he works with. At least most of them. It’s the company he works for that he hates. Everything was fine until a new manager took over. Lets just say he doesn’t know his head from his ass. To put it straight, they are the worse company he has ever worked for.

Half of the employees have left in the past month or so and more are on there way out.

Anyway he is starting a new job on next wednesday. It’s not the kind of work he enjoys because it involves sitting down most of the day and that’s not his style. He would rather be doing manual labor. But the money is good.

The thing is the first 6 weeks is training from 4.pm until 12.30 am. O,k i don’t have a problem with that at all. except for one minor detail. A couple of months ago, I made plans for Aug 8th. You see there are events that take place here every year. I hardly ever go to any of them. But this year I had that date set aside because of a band I wanted to go see. I was really looking forward to it. I don’t ask for very much. So I really don’t think it is unfair for me to want to go out one night of the year. I am happy Terry got this job, but I am also pissed off because I was deprived of something once again through no fault of my own. He applied for this job several weeks ago. If they had of had the training then, i wouldn’t be having this problem now.

Maybe some will think I am selfish. But I really don’t think wanting us to have one day out of the year is being selfish. I even bought a new outfit last week. Now I have no place to wear it at all . So I guess it will just collect dust in my closet. Actually I am seriously thinking about returning it. Not sure yet what I will do.

We didn’t have any summer last year because of the accident. we didn’t have a vehicle. And no I can’t go to the event myself because it is not within walking distance.

There are times I feel like I am in this house so damn much that the walls are closing in on me. Like I am going to suffocate at any moment. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. Or what I am supposed to say . Do I say what’s on my mind or just keep quiet and smile. ? I really don’t know. Either way it isn’t going to change the fact that I am confined inside these walls. I really feel like I am going to snap. Oh well, whatever will be, will be i guess. Take care all and lots of love ..

3rd July, 2008 in Events, Health, Rants, Stress, family, weather